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08 April 2008 @ 11:16 pm
25 November 2007 @ 09:51 pm
so i basically lost my job today. i'm trying to find a new one that has insurance just as good and also 10 + an hour pay at least until march of next year when my lease is up and i can move in with someone to save money. my only option? the government. fuck me.
20 September 2007 @ 04:47 am
something very essential is missing from my life. i just don't know what.
26 August 2007 @ 02:30 am
wow. i just turned on my television and the first thing i saw was a man wearing peasant garments holding a baby that had an old man shrunken head talking to a black woman with a huge afro who's face had the skin of a dragon. the next scene was a couple of cavemen looking people and a chinese lady tearing vines off a wall and playing with them. upon further viewing i found out this was an episode of star trek. i've never really watched star trek...are all of the episodes this...fucked up?
01 July 2007 @ 11:32 pm
hi. meet my new life. srsly. everything is new. new new new. i suck more and rock less, basically. BUT i DID get a job back at the grand old whole foods market and have been working there nigh on two months now. i ALSO got a new apartment. address: 1500 E Riverside #336 Austin, TX 78741. send me mail. make me feel loved. i ALSO got a new phone (same number, don't get your panties in a twist) and a NEW kitten. see what i'm saying? everything's NEW. i'll post pictures of something (apartment, kitten perhaps) once i get internet in my apartment and get my camera fixed. if you know me, you know that that will most likely never happen. increasing the unlikelihood of that event is the fact that i never update this journal anymore. but i thought i'd do it since I WANT MAIL. and you can't send me mail if you don't know my address. sooo, lots of exciting things happened i guess...but i still feel half bummed a lot of the time. like i'm just going through the motions. a while ago i had made a conscious decision to try to be less cocky (thanks, favian) and life has sucked ever since then. he's just as cocky (if not more so) than i am. just because he's subtle and artistic in that poet/artist way doesn't mean anything. in fact, it's almost worse, i'd say. i'm awesome and i know it, god damnit. so i think a return to the cockiness shall ensue. okay, over and out.
17 April 2007 @ 09:28 pm
so i haven't updated livejournal extensively in quite some time. i'm drunk and watching that made for tv movie the judy garland story (the ante-explanatory part of the title has something to do with shadows?) and it's quite grand what red wine will do to you. let me tell you: judy garland was quite stunning. anyhow, i live in austin now. i live with my mother and i get drunk by myself and go to coffee shops quite a bit and hang out with the mom. i turned down a job that paid more than enough for me to live on just because it was office-oriented and i want to work in a place with young people, just so i can meet more people. the only people i know here really are favian and lauren. favian's not returning my phone calls because i apparently made things awkward and lauren is busy with school and work and shows and whatnot and i don't want to impose too much. i had a phone interview with the container store last thursday and i'm really holding out for that. it would be perfect. an amazing company where i could advise people on how to organize their living space. ladies and gentlemen of the jury, it sounds like a dream come true. (apologies for the jury appeal, i've been reading lolita). yes, now that i have free time, i'm trying to utilize it by reading and not playing text twist and watching tv. i really miss my reed friends. i miss being able to walk around a small campus and potentially find something going on (although, usually nothing). i still miss jordan and vasae and kumar and ben and kelsey and etc. etc.

my mother is being very supportive and i'm growing to love her more and more each day that i live here. i know that i won't be living here very long but i'm glad knowing that i'll be in the same city as she because she needs me and i her. my sister will be moving in with her over the summer and will probably get her own place in austin shortly after she graduates.

so yes, i've been spending my time getting drunk alone. getting drunk alone is pathetic, i admit, but not more pathetic than being sober alone, in my opinion. i think about favian a lot and about the mistakes i've made but i've recently learned that i can't dwell because it gets me nowhere. i still want him back but i want to give him space and respect his wishes because i never did that when we were together. i owe him that. it's just hard to move on with my life when i'm unemployed. it will get easier once i have a job. i just need to meet people here, so i'm not stuck in perpetual limbo.

well, after a couple of months of not updating livejournal (with "worthy" entries) i think i'm about to have a heart attack with the amount of emotional shit i've bared with this one entry.
12 April 2007 @ 01:02 pm
god damnit. i was reading through some past entries and i used to be a whooooooole lot happier/wittier/fucking hilarious. what the hell happened? the question is: what the hell didn't happen? blah blah blah.
30 March 2007 @ 11:13 pm
i am drunk and that is the principal reason that i am writing this entry. updates on my life: i have moved to austin. i am living with my mom until i save up some money and then i will move out. overall i'm happy with the move. arlington is too depressing. i moved there for a man anyhow when i really didn't know what i was doing because i care far too much about someone else and that is an entirely different story for when i'm far more fucked up than i am now. anyhow tonight i went to dave and buster's with my mom and we ate dinner and drank beer and played arcade games. it was a lot of fun. enough with the bullshit, the only reason i am writing this is because bjork is coming to chicago and i'm flying up there to see her and i'm so excited i basically can't move. unless it's to pick up my beer and have another sip. which i will do right now. bye bye.
17 March 2007 @ 03:40 pm
it bugs me that my debit card STILL has not arrived in the mail.

it bugs me that i don't have anywhere to go tonight.

it bugs me that since favian and i broke up he's been having a grand old time.

it bugs me that i still don't have a job or an apartment.

it bugs me that i'm so lazy.

it bugs me that chris is "lost," "confused" and a slew of other words and excuses to describe why he won't be in a relationship.

it bugs me that i'm selfish.

it bugs me that i'm being a whiny baby and writing this entry.
24 February 2007 @ 04:50 pm
my life is falling apart.

in other news, gmail has been posting a lot of spam recipes and it's kind of grossing me out.